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Act Without Attachment: You’ll Win More Clients That Way

Win More Clients

In my work with clients, I talk about why it is important to “act without attachment to desired results” while meeting with prospects. In other words, while you would certainly prefer that the person be interested in doing business with you, you’re not obsessed about getting the sale. If s/he is interested in doing business, great. If s/he’s not interested in doing business, that’s okay, too.

When someone pushes too hard to get me to buy something or when they try to “close” me before I’m ready to buy— all because they need the sale—I don’t like it. I feel that the person is pressuring me and that makes me feel like I don’t want to do business with them. True for you, too?

I discovered a long time ago, that the more I needed to make a sale, the fewer sales I made and the less I needed to make a sale, the more sales I made.

My advice

In your meetings with prospects, put aside your need to make the sale and focus on getting to know the person, understanding what are their needs and helping them make a good buying decision.

Paradoxically, this lack of needing the sale ends up making you more likely to make the sale.

Your lack of attachment to the result you want goes a long way to putting the prospect’s mind at ease and they become much more comfortable with the idea of doing business with you. Of course, your product, service or solution should be a good fit for your potential client/customer and you want to be able to stand behind it and fully guarantee it. That goes without question.

On the other hand, when you’re focused on closing the sale, you become overly-salesy (i.e. you’re talking rather than listening; you’re telling rather than asking) and so your neediness shows. The result? You cause the the prospect to lose interest in having any dealings with you—and when you try to follow up, they don’t return your calls or respond to your emails.

Don’t get me wrong. I know you want the sale. We all want the sale. Just don’t focus on it so much that you push too hard for it and go for the close before the time is right and your prospect is ready to buy.

So, how do I “detach myself” from making the sale?

I’m continually widening my circle of contacts through my networking activities so that I never worry about running out of opportunities to meet with people who may need my services. Consequently, I’m not attached to making the sale. Additionally, I accept that I’m not a good fit for every prospect and I don’t need to be. If the prospect wants my services, great. If s/he doesn’t, that’s okay, too. I’m prepared to end the conversation on a friendly note (s/he might tell their friends about me) and move on to my next opportunity. That’s acting without attachment to the desired result.

Letting go of the attachment to needing business helps me a lot in my meetings with potential new clients. Instead of thinking things like, I’ve got to tell them this or I’ve got to tell them that or I need this sale or I hope they buy, I’m able to focus on what’s really important: Which is “being there” with the prospect—being interested; being curious; being generous with my attention; seeking to understand their needs and finding out what’s important to them. Then and only then, it’s my job simply to present my service in the right way. There’s no pressure to buy from me. Instead the prospect simply chooses whether or not to do business with me.

No doubt about it. You’ll never come across as needy or pushy or desperate—and you’ll certainly do more business—when you act without attachment to the result while meeting with prospects.

Leave a comment below, I would love to hear how you go about acting without attachments in your meetings.

Comments 4

  1. A mentor of mine once told me that “you have two of these (pointing to ears) and one of these (pointing to mouth). If you listen twice as much as you speak, it will put you ahead of the pack without trying”. Probably the best bit of advice I have been given.

  2. On that theme, I offer a little poem by an anonymous person which always helps me when I read it


    When I ask you to listen to me
    and you start giving me good advice,
    then you have not done what I asked of you.
    When I ask you to listen to me
    and you start explaining why I shouldn’t feel as I do,
    then you are trampling on my feelings.
    When I ask you to listen to me
    and you think you must do something to sort out my problems,
    then you fail me, however strange that may sound.
    Perhaps that is why praying helps some people.
    Because God is mute and doesn’t give good advice or try to “fix” things.
    He only listens and lets me take care of myself.
    So please, just listen to me,
    and if you want to say something, be patient.
    Then, I promise, I’ll listen to you.

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